ginger_veela: (Twelve Fail-Safe Ways)
[personal profile] ginger_veela
Title: What's Wrong With This Picture?
Pairing: Harry/Ginny
Rating: R
Word Count: 560
Warnings: Raunchy humor, implied wanking
Summary: At the Auror Academy, Harry finds himself struggling with his least favorite subject again.
Notes: Written for [livejournal.com profile] hpgw_otp's anniversary fic and art challenge Paper, Diamond, and Every Year In Between. My prompt was "Lace."

What's Wrong With This Picture?

"Concentrate, Potter."

"I'm trying."

The Auror aimed her wand.

"Legilimens."

Harry scrunched up his face, shutting his eyes tight, gripping the edge of his stool. After five seconds, the instructor lowered her wand.

"Lace curtains."

The other trainees tittered.

"Honestly, Potter, I'd have expected better from you." She walked to the front of the classroom, rifled through some files, and opened one.

"Potter, Harry James. Mastered the Patronus charm, age thirteen. Defeated the Dark Lord, age seventeen. Failing Basic Occlumency, age eighteen." She snapped the file shut. "Did you or did you not study Occlumency with the greatest Occlumens of all time, Severus Snape?"

"Erm...our lessons didn't go very well."

"Yes, I can see that." She sighed and raised her wand again.

"Legilimens."

Harry squirmed, his brow furrowed in concentration, for all of four seconds before she lowered her wand.

"Lace...tablecloth." She smirked. "I gather tatting is a hobby of yours, Potter?"

"Uh...no."

The class tittered again.

The Auror strode back to Harry, stopping inches from his face.

"Perhaps, having seen so much action in the War, you find this subject boring."

Harry shook his head. "No, ma'am."

Her eyes narrowed. "You'd do well to begin taking this class seriously, Potter. Only sheer dumb luck saved you from this form of interrogation when you were taken to Malfoy Manor." She turned and strode the length of the classroom, staring at each of the trainees in turn.

"Out in the field, tables can turn in an instant -- any of you could easily find yourselves on the wrong end of a dark wizard's wand. Aurors have died for wont of the ability to conceal information from their captors. What you learn in this classroom could mean the difference between life and death -- not just for you, but for your fellow Aurors, as well." She turned to face Harry again, raised her wand.

"Legilimens."

Three seconds elapsed until she lowered it.

"Lace...doilies."

Loud guffaws broke out around the room.

The Auror scowled. "I cannot fathom, Potter, why frilly household linens hold such fascination for you, but if you wish to have any hope of graduating from this Academy, you'd be well advised to set your mind to the subject at hand."

Harry swallowed hard. "Um, actually, I'm doing loads better than I did with Professor Snape."

She rolled her eyes. "In that case, it's a wonder he let you live." She turned her back on him. "Class dismissed."

Harry leapt off his stool and tore out of the class, racing across the grassy quadrangle to his dormitory. He sprinted up the stairs to his room and threw open the door. He pulled a photograph from beneath his pillow, closeted himself in the adjoining bathroom, and locked the door.

Two minutes later he emerged, red-faced and sweating, a ridiculous grin plastered across his face. He propped the photograph on his desk, stared at it for a long moment, then pulled a quill and a page of parchment out of the desk drawer. He dipped the tip of the quill in his inkpot and began to write.

Dear Ginny,

Thanks for the letter and the picture -- LOVE the lace knickers. There's just one thing wrong with them: they're not in my mouth.

Miss you like crazy, too.

XOXO
Harry

P.S. -- please don't send any more photos until I've passed Basic Occlumency.



Date: 2010-05-24 10:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] katwoman-68.livejournal.com
Ginny would do something naughty like sending him that pic, wouldn't she?

Thanks for the smile this morning. :)

Date: 2010-06-04 02:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ginger-veela.livejournal.com
Glad I could make you smile. :-)

Date: 2010-05-24 11:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] maevemist.livejournal.com
Well I think Harry did a smashing job of Occluding if the teacher only saw curtains when Harry was dsitracted by that image of Ginny!

Date: 2010-06-04 02:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ginger-veela.livejournal.com
Heh! He's definitely improved.

Date: 2010-05-24 11:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] museme87.livejournal.com
I got really excited when I was notified this morning of a new Harry/Ginny fic from you! What a great thing to wake up to. You know how I adore your Harry and Ginny.

Poor Harry getting drilled on Occlumency again. At least he's improved to the point where he can manipulate what the Legilimens sees of his thoughts (or at least that's how I took it). His fellow Aurors-in-training would have certainly got a laugh if he hadn't. And I can definitely see Ginny doing something as naughty as sending him lewd pictures of herself. :)

Date: 2010-06-04 02:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ginger-veela.livejournal.com
Hee. I love making Harry squirm. And I agree Ginny is a very naughty girl -- though I might be biased, being a redhead myself. ;-)

Date: 2010-05-24 02:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lolafalola.livejournal.com
He's doing much better... If he was doing worse, his trainer would have seen those lacy knickers in his mouth. :)

Date: 2010-06-04 02:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ginger-veela.livejournal.com
And wouldn't that be an interesting image? :D

Date: 2010-05-24 02:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] r-becca.livejournal.com
hahaha! I'm with [livejournal.com profile] maevemist -- I think Harry did a pretty good job of hiding his true thoughts. :D

So glad to see you writing H/G again! I hope this is a sign of things to come.

Date: 2010-06-04 02:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ginger-veela.livejournal.com
Thanks! We'll see. Harry and Ginny will definitely feature prominently in the wedding fic I'm writing.

Date: 2010-05-24 03:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stmargarets.livejournal.com
Very cute! Like everyone said - Harry has done very well channeling those thoughts into something G-rated for the Occulmens. :)

Date: 2010-06-04 02:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ginger-veela.livejournal.com
Thanks. Harry's nothing if not resourceful. :-)

Date: 2010-05-24 11:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ericadouglas.livejournal.com
Hee hee hee! So awesomely funny.

Date: 2010-06-04 02:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ginger-veela.livejournal.com
Thank you! Glad I could make you laugh.

Date: 2010-05-25 12:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sfaith.livejournal.com
*giggle!* Love it all day!

Date: 2010-06-04 02:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ginger-veela.livejournal.com
Thanks! Glad you enjoyed.

Date: 2010-05-25 03:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sweetdreamer285.livejournal.com
And I thought this Monday was going down the drain and clog my whole week.

Then this post came and saved my sanity. I'm very happy to see your H/G emerge again!!

Date: 2010-06-04 02:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ginger-veela.livejournal.com
Thank you. Glad I could improve your Monday.

Date: 2010-05-25 09:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] racing-rain.livejournal.com
I agree with the rest. If lace curtain is what the instructor was seeing instead of those, then Harry is really doing a lot better. :D

Date: 2010-06-04 02:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ginger-veela.livejournal.com
Thanks. Too bad his instructor doesn't understand how much better.

Date: 2010-05-25 03:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hannah-ward.livejournal.com
At least the instructor didn't get the full pic from his head. :)
very nice little story

Date: 2010-06-04 02:53 am (UTC)

Date: 2010-05-26 04:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] samanthacr.livejournal.com
hilarious!! Great job!

Date: 2010-06-04 02:53 am (UTC)

Date: 2010-05-30 08:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] irislock.livejournal.com
Oh, very fun! This was very cute - and poor Harry! Even if Ginny doesn't send him any more pics, that's one image that will be very difficult to get out of his mind!

Date: 2010-06-04 02:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ginger-veela.livejournal.com
Hee -- yes, I would imagine that's a difficult picture to forget. Glad you liked.

Date: 2010-06-25 06:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lemondrop34.livejournal.com
'K, THAT was friggin' HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gadzooks, I loooooooooooove catching up.

*on to the next bit o'fic she missed*

Date: 2010-06-26 01:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ginger-veela.livejournal.com
Thank you! Glad you enjoyed.

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